CCST3K(Season 3 Finale)#30-Hotaru Goes To Hogwarts

*TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS*

(And give yourself a severe case of eyestrain)

(The future isn't what it used to be....)

"CARD CAPTOR SCIENCE THEATER 3000" (SEASON THREE FINALE)

EPISODE 30: HOTARU GOES TO HOGWARTS

(A Sailor Moon/Harry Potter MSTing)

MSTed From the Desk of CardCaptor Schlueter (aka Syaoran-kun)

This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author.

Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment

purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or

trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred.

“Card Captor Sakura” is a trademark of CLAMP and those who distribute it.

“Sailor Moon” is the property of Naoko Takeuchi and the distributors of her work.

“Harry Potter” is the property of J.K. Rowling as well as many large scary corporations

“Hotaru Goes To Hogwarts” is the property of Saturn Angels and is used with permission. I do not intend to offend her by making fun of her work like this but I figure it's only a matter of time before someone does. Think of this as another form of C&C. ;)

(Cue "Card Captor Science Theater 3000 Love Theme" in 5....4....3....)

It's the not-too-distant future,

Last Sunday BC

There was this girl named Sakura

Quite different from you or me

She captured Clow Cards with her friends

All seen through Tomoyo’s camera lens

They tried to save the human race,

But Eriol lost his patience

So he shot them into space!!!!

Sakura: (Hoeeee……)

Syaoran and Tomoyo: (Now what?)

We'll send them crappy fanfics

The worst we can find  (lalala)

They'll have to sit and read them all and we'll monitor their minds  (lalala)

Now keep in mind they can't control

When the fanfics begin or end  (lalala)

Because, let’s face it, after all

Eriol’s not really their friend;

CARD CAPTOR ROLL CALL:

Meiling:

'I’m baaaaaack!’

Tomoyo:

'Say “Cheese”!'

Syaoran:

'Raitei Shourai!!'

KEROOOOOOO!!!

'That’s Cerberus to you.'

If you're wondering how they eat and breathe

And other science facts (lalala)

Then repeat to yourself

*It's just a MiST*

You should really just relax

For Card Captor Science Theater 3000!!!

SOMEWHERE IN SEIKA CITY…

It was just after midnight in the city and a small shadowy figure with a long ponytail leapt cat-like from rooftop to rooftop. Meanwhile, down on the ground a young man in a black suit and tie chased along after her followed by several police officers.

“This time I shall catch you, Saint Tail!” the young man called.

“Catch me if you can!” the ponytailed girl called teasingly in response. She quickly grabbed hold of a large colorful assortment of balloons and began to float away. “Better luck next time, detective!” she called out.

“Damn it!” the young man continued to follow her along the ground for several moments before he tripped and fell flat on his face.

“Syaoran-kun! Are you okay?” Sakura called from the balloons.

“CUT!”

The city backdrop dissolved away leaving only the plain blank walls of the holocabana. Tomoyo stepped forward, camcorder in hand. “Sakura-chan, you’re supposed to stay in character.”

“But…” Sakura began.

“I still don’t get it,” Syaoran said as he got to his feet and ran his fingers through his temporarily green hair. “What’s the deal with this Asuka Jr. guy anyway? I mean, Saint Tail doesn’t wear a mask and he *still* can’t tell who she is.”

Tomoyo sighed. “Honestly, Li-kun… You can be so unromantic sometimes.”

“Can I change my hair back now?” he asked. Sakura drew ‘The Hair’ card and returned both her and Syaoran’s hairstyles back to their previous states.

“It’s not about romanticism, Daidouji,” Syaoran explained. “He keep chasing her and missing her by mere inches and he never seems to get frustrated or discouraged.”

“It’s because he loves the chase so much,” said Sakura. “He’s forever chasing a dream.”

“I’m just wondering if anyone is going to get this skit,” Kero muttered as he floated down and landed on Tomoyo’s shoulder. “I mean, we are going for a pretty obscure series here.”

Syaoran just rolled his eyes. Suddenly, the intercom came to life. “Everybody to the bridge!” called Meiling. “Commissioner Gordon is calling again.”

“Oh, lovely,” muttered Kero. “Looks like it’s guinea pig time again.”

DEEP 13

“Got any fours?” asked TV’s Spinel Sun as he looked over his cards which were held up with a special stand to keep them from view, since he obviously couldn’t hold them on his own.

“Go fish!” his counterpart, TV’s Ruby Moon replied merrily.

The small black cat grumbled slightly as her walked over to the deck of cards and picked up the top card in his mouth. While doing so, he happened to glance at the viewscreen. “Uh-oh! Looks like we’re on!” he said quickly, spitting out the card.

Ruby Moon glanced over. “Oh, hi there, guys!”

“Where’s Dr. H?” asked Sakura.

“Him? He’s at a meeting with the rest of the council. They’re discussing new projects and the like,” Ruby Moon replied. “Eriol’s trying to get more funding for us again.”

“Yeah. But do *we* ever get a pay raise when he does?” Spinel Sun muttered. “No! Of course not!”

“How true,” Ruby Moon replied. “Anyway, Dr. H didn’t want us to create any Clow cards on our own, so we’re supposed to just skip straight to the experiment.”

Spinel hopped off the table to go retrieve the file. “Anyway,” Ruby Moon continued as she brushed a strand of pink hair from her face. “We’ve decided to go a bit easy on you this week. However, I have to warn you that this fanfic is a tad longer than most.”

Sakura, Syaoran Tomoyo and Kero groaned.

Spinel retuned dragging along an unusually large file in his teeth. Ruby Moon bent over and took it from him. “Thank you, Suppi.”

“I am *not* Suppi!” Spinel snapped.

Ruby Moon just ignored him and continued. “Anyway, this week we have a Harry Potter/Sailor Moon crossover featuring none other that Sailor Saturn herself along with a bunch of characters the author created. It’s called ‘Hotaru Goes To Hogwarts’. Enjoy it… or not.”

She stuffed the fanfic into the console and gave the button a smack.

THE SATELLITE OF LOVE

“*Another* crossover?” said Kero. “We’ve seen more of those than Marvel comics.”

“At least it’s not cast replacement again,” Syaoran grumbled.

Suddenly, alarms and sirens rang out.

“OHHHH, WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN!!!” Sakura cried out.

(Door 6: It shatters like glass.)

(Door 5: It’s made of ofudas. Syaoran recites an incantation and they burn away.)

(Door 4: It’s made of bars. They rise into the ceiling.)

(Door 3: It’s made of sleeping plushies. They suddenly wake up and scamper away.)

(Door 2: It’s a set of elevator doors. They open with a ‘ping’ sound.)

(Door 1: It’s a trap door. You fall through it.)

(Door .7: The camera pans downward where a giant vault door starts to open. A sudden rush of air sucks you through.)

Sakura, Syaoran, Tomoyo and Kero-Chan fall through the vault door and land in their seats while Kero-Chan floats overhead.

>Disclaimer: No, I do no own Harry Potter J.K. Rowling does. And no, I do not own Sailor Moon Naoko Takeuchi does. All set?

Kero: I do no own him, but I do no harm either

>Good. Oh, I'll probably add my own characters in later chapters but that will not affect this disclaimer, k? k.

Sakura: ACCs, huh? Already endearing yourself to the readership.

Tomoyo: Ouch.

>Thor: ...put Voldemort in it...spice it up!

Sakura: Posh, Sporty, Ginger, Scary or Baby?

Sakura: What?

Syaoran: As long as he’s not stealing underwear again…

>Vale: ...-_- whatev...

Tomoyo:<Madison Taylor> ..er!

>Vince: ^^; r&r please?

>Tomoe: *sighs* I like it! I really do! Did you name the owl Pluto, after the Roman God of Death...or after Setsuna?

Syaoran:<Dr. Thinker> You SEE! I was right! Hotaru is EVIL! Eeeevil!!!

>Vale: ...Roman God of Death...both, ok? Oh, and Hotaru's 14 (5th YEAR AT HOGWARTS)

>Fantasy Girl: *shrugs* read and review, eh?

Kero: How many authors are making notes on this fic?

>HOTARU GOES TO HOGWARTS

Sakura: FINALLY! Someone who can kick Voldemort’s ass and isn’t afraid to wield some lethal power.

Kero: They thought they were in trouble before, here comes the soul-sucking power of Mistress 9!

Tomoyo:<Hotaru> Avada Kedavra, my ass! EAT HOT DEATH REBORN!!

Syaoran: The lengths poor Hotaru has to go through to avoid Chibi-Usa.

Tomoyo: Whew… Fun!

>CHAPTER ONE

>BY:

>Vale (Saturn Angels)

Kero: First up, how to use a wand.

Sakura: Let’s just hope Hotaru doesn’t use that huge staff of hers in place of a wand.

Syaoran:<Prof. Flitwick> Swish and flick.

Sakura:<Hotaru> Swish and…<THWACK!> Aww… Damn, I decapitated another one.

Tomoyo: I can’t remember when we had this much fun with just the title of a fic.

>Hotaru listened politely as the teacher droned on and on about behavior or something like that, the other children had long

>since fallen asleep.

All:<students> Zzzzzzzzzzz….

Kero:<Charlie Brown teacher> Wah, wah, wah, waaaahhhh.

>The PA suddenly came on alarming half of the sleeping students causing them to fall out of their seats.

All:<students> Waaaahhh…<THUMP!> Owie…

Syaoran:<PA> We have wounded in the compound!

Kero:<PA> Hey! So THAT’S how this thing works. Neat!

>"Tomoe Hotaru, please come to the office ready to go home. Tomoe Hotaru, please come to the office ready to go home, thank

>you"

Tomoyo:<Hotaru> Awww… What am I being suspended for this time?

>The teacher turned to Hotaru, "You're excused from class Tomoe, have a nice day," After she said that she turned back to the

>class and continued her speech.

Sakura:<Hotaru> Whew! Saved.

>Hotaru bowed and grabbed her backpack with her books and left the classroom thankful that she didn't have to sit in that

>boring room anymore. She walked quickly to the office.

Kero:<Hotaru> Geez… My life was so much cooler when I was possessed and my dad was a psycho scientist.

>"Ms. Tomoe; Tenou-san has come to pick you up, she's waiting outside. Shall I escort you?" The principle asked as Hotaru

Kero: Eeeeewww…

Sakura: Is he related to Terada-sensai?

Tomoyo: Obviously, he’s missed the “principal” of the thing.

>entered the office ((A.K.A The Land of No Return))

Syaoran: I thought that was what they called Miami.

>"Arigatou. That won't be necessary," Hotaru said quietly. She then left the office and went outside where Haruka was waiting

>for her in her car. Haruka waved and Hotaru ran to the car and threw her stuff in the backseat, she opened the passenger door

>and climbed in, "Why'd you pick me up so early Haruka-papa?"

Kero:<sighs> Another fic, another slew of comma errors.

Sakura: One of these days Haruka’s going to clarify that “papa” thing.

Syaoran: Sadly, Haruka’s the manliest character in this series.

Tomoyo: What about Mamoru?

Tomoyo: Point taken.

>Haruka looked at Hotaru fidgeting a bit, "Well...ya see...um...you'll see when we get home" before Hotaru could ask another

>question Haruka drove top speed out of the parking lot.

Tomoyo: Haruka Tenou *IS* Speed Racer!

Sakura: So THAT’S what this is about. Haruka spent Hotaru’s tuition money on a Dodge Viper!

Kero:<Haruka> Stupid pedestrians! <THUMP!> Outta my way! <THUMP!>

>~*Two minutes later at the Outer's Mansion*~

Syaoran: Hey! That’s Nephrite’s mansion! Those cheap bastards are just re-using sets!

>Hotaru's eyes were wide since Haruka was driving 110 miles per hour, and had narrowly missed hitting five or six cars.

Tomoyo: Wow! And we were just kidding.

Sakura:<Haruka> Hot damn! I love this Ferrari!

Syaoran: Apparently, every traffic cop in town just happens to be off duty right now.

>Haruka got out of the car as if everything was normal, she opened the front door to the house then went back to the car and

>dragged Hotaru out, then she dragged her into the house, "Setsuna, Michiru...we're home!"

Sakura: Riiiiiight…

Kero:<Haruka a la Ricky> Luuuucyy!! I’m hooooooome!

>Michiru came out of the kitchen, "We were waiting. You two come into the kitchen...Hotaru we have something...you should see"

Syaoran: Gee… Haruka and Michiru are being so SUBTLE.

Tomoyo: Yeah. Like a brick to the head.

>Hotaru who had long since snapped out of her daze glanced at Haruka and Michiru nervously then followed them into the

>kitchen. She sat in the chair next to Setsuna, Michiru paced around the room, Haruka sat down and bit her bottom lip, and

>Setsuna drank tea calmly, "Michiru, just give her the letter..."

Sakura:<glancing at the letter> Hey! She might have just won ten million dollars!

>Michiru sighed and brought out a yellowish envelope, addressed in emerald green to Ms. H. Tomoe, Outers Mansion, 2nd floor,

>Tokyo, Japan. "Remember Hotaru, before you read it the decision is yours, alright?"

Kero: Wha--? What’s THAT doing on the envelope?

Syyaoran: New Hogwarts Brand envelopes with slogans!

>Hotaru raised a thin raven eyebrow. 'All this commotion over a letter?' She took the letter from Michiru's hand. It read:

Tomoyo: Dear Hotaru, I just seduced Rei Ayanami for you. –Your imagination friend, Hank.

>HOGWARTS SCHOOL

>of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY

Kero: Filmed in CAPSLOCK-VISION!!

>Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore

>(Order of Merlin, First class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock,

>Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)

Syaoran: I wonder when Rowling is finally going to explain what a “mugwump”is.

Kero: Geez… This guy recites his titles almost as often as Marrissa Picard.

>Dear Ms. Tomoe:

>We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed

>a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later then August 28.

>Yours sincerely,

>Minerva McGonagall,

>Deputy Headmistress

Sakura:<McGonagall> Damn… I hate writing all these letters. I’m getting carpal tunnel here.

>Hotaru stared at the letter then reread it twice, "But Michi-mama! It's August 29 today! It's too late to send...and owl!"

Kero: Hotaru’s been taking acting lessons from Will Shatner, I see.

Sakura: “Too late to send… and owl”? Is that a cryptic statement?

Syaoran: Any more cryptic and it could be “Vampire Princess Miyu” dialogue.

>Michiru sighed, "They sent it today so they will accept...do you wish to go?"

Tomoyo:<sniggers> So much for the advantages of owl post.

Kero: Owl Post! Not quite as slow and unreliable as ordinary post.

>Hotaru stood up excitedly still holding the letter, "Yes! Of course!"

>Michiru sighed and replied, "Alright...I'll take you to Diagon Alley, Haruka...send the owl, Setsuna come with us you know

>your way around the place better then I do..."

All: Huh?!

Kero: Setsuna’s in this scene?

Syaoran: Wow! She really knows how to sneak around.

>Haruka muttered something under her breath that sounded oddly like, "I never get to go to Diagon Alley. Last time when

>Setsuna was accepted into Hogwarts, did I get to go with her to Diagon Alley? Nooo, I had to send the damn owl"

Tomoyo:<Haruka a la Lucy> Waaaaaahhh! I wanna go to Diagon Alley, Ricky!

Sakura: Pluto went to Hogwarts? That’s a twist.

Kero:<Michiru> Sadly, she was expelled for hurling her rivals through time portals into limbo.

>Michiru rolled her eyes, "Haruka, you can go next time, alright?"

Sakura:<Michiru> Don’t bitch with me, Haruka, I still know where the tranquilizer gun is.

>Haruka grumbled as the three left, "Yeah, I'll go next year...so they say" She muttered angrily as she got the response

>ready.

Kero:<Haruka> Hmph… You all can just bite me.

>~*Six Hours Later*~

>Haruka sat on the couch watching TV; I Love Lucy to be exact, while waiting for the return of Hotaru, Setsuna, and Michiru.

Sakura: Wow! Now THAT’S irony.

Kero:<shrugs> Who knew?

Tomoyo:<Haruka> Heh, heh… Oh, that wacky redhead, what will she get into next?

>The door opened suddenly Michiru and Setsuna were laughing, Hotaru had a wide-eyed dazed expression on her face.

Kero:<Hotaru> Did we really need to stop at the strip club on the way home?

Sakura: Kero!

Syaoran: They got to London and back in six hours?!

Tomoyo: Eh… Probably just used Setsuna’s time warp.

>Haruka laughed too then thought for a moment as she helped Setsuna with Hotaru's supplies,

Sakura:<Haruka> Wait a sec.. I was snubbed! What am I laughing for?!

>Hotaru carried the new owl which she had

>named Pluto, "That's probably what my expression would be like if I went there..."

>Michiru gave Haruka a look that said 'Don't start that again...'

Tomoyo: And Haruka returned with a look that said ‘Stick it where the sun don’t shine’.

>Setsuna just rolled her eyes as she gave Haruka some of the bags, "Send the owl now Haruka"

Syaoran: Wait a sec… If Haruka wasn’t sending the owl, why did she have to stay behind?

Kero: Oops! Plot hole.

>"...Fine" Haruka said as she put the bags on the couch and went to Hotaru to get the owl ready for its flight.

Tomoyo:<Haruka> Yeah, whatever you say, Miss Bossy-pants.

>Hotaru looked at Haruka while handing her the owl cage, "E-England is so...so incredible!"

All: That’s INCREDIBLE!

>Haruka muttered more then sent Pluto off to deliver the letter, "How'd you get there anyway?"

>Hotaru pointed to Setsuna.

>"See!? You could've taken me along too!" Haruka whined turning chibi-sized.

Tomoyo: POOF!

Sakura:<Haruka> I learned that trick from Urd.

Kero: Woah! Who gave HER ‘The Chibi’ card?

Syaoran: Hee, hee, hee… Whew! That was funny.

>Setsuna, Hotaru, and Michiru looked at the chibi-Haruka and sweatdropped.

Sakura:<Setsuna> Uh-oh! Her hair’s turning pink! Change her back! QUICK!!

>Michiru shook her head then turned to Hotaru, "Well, it's almost time to go to Hogwarts for you...tomorrow we will get you

>out of your high school that you go to now...then get you to the train station King's Cross, Platform

>nine-and-three-quarters.

Tomoyo: Oh, come on. Why doesn’t Setsuna just drop her off in front of the main doors?

Sakura:<Hermione> You can’t apparate on Hogwarts grounds! Don’t you know anything?!

>Well go to sleep now Hotaru,"

Kero:<Michiru> SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEPP!

Sakura:<Hotaru> But it’s only 5 p.m.!

>Hotaru sighed and walked upstairs to try and go to sleep.

>~*One Hour Later*~

Sakura:<Hotaru> Cool! My pictures are ready!

>Hotaru tossed and turned in her bed, how was she supposed to sleep knowing that two days from now she'd be at Hogwarts!? She

>sighed closing her eyes to attempt her luck at sleeping again.

Kero: If she’s leaving two days from now, why is she going to King’s Cross tomorrow?

Tomoyo: Geez… Haruka and Michiru are pretty anxious to get her out of the house.

>-_-_-_-_-_-_-To be continued...-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

>Vale: Alright, how'd you like it? ...well please review!

Sakura:<Vale> Unless you hate it, in which case, go away!

>Fantasy Girl: read and review, k?

>Vince: Yeah.

>Thor: ...whatever

Tomoyo: HEY! You’re stealing my riffs!

>Tomoe: What are you, Squall or something?

Kero: Cool! Does that mean Rinoa and Selphie are around here somewhere?

>Thor: ...whatever

>Vale: ...-_-; please please review...pwease?

Syaoran: Only if you don’t ever say “pwease” again.

>own characters in later chapters but that will not affect this disclaimer, k.

>Thor: ...

>Vince: ...

Kero: Okay, who cast the mute spell?

>Vale: ^^; r&r please?

>Tomoe: ...

>Fantasy Girl: ...*eats slushie* ...

>Vale: ....too quiet!

Sakura: And the point of this would be?

>Fantasy Girl: AGH!!!!!!!!! BRAIN FREEZE!

>Vale: ...O.o; r&r..

Kero: This bizarre pointless interlude brought to you by… well, somebody.

>HOTARU GOES TO HOGWARTS

>CHAPTER TWO

>BY:

>Vale (Saturn Angels)

Kero: Next up! Potions!

Syaoran:<Snape> This doesn’t smell like the assignment.

Sakura:<Hotaru> That’s cause I’m making Long Island iced tea! Let’s party!

>~*September 1st*~

>Hotaru woke up at 5:00 a.m. clapping in excitement finally the day had come!

Kero: Causing the lights to flash on and off.

Tomoyo:<Hotaru>Stupid Clapper!

>Pluto who had come back from giving the response to Dumbledore was resting in its cage. Hotaru jumped out of bed and ran to Setsuna's room first,

>"Come on! Come one! Get up!

Sakura: Come one! Come all!

>Get up!" She cried while jumping on Setsuna's bed.

All:<sniggers>

Kero:<Hotaru> It’s Christmas and I wanna open my presents!

>Setsuna shot up from her slumber then looked at Hotaru, "Okay...go wake Michiru and Haruka up...wait, just wake Michiru up,

>Haruka'll go next year..."

All:<groan>

Syaoran: What is this? Pick-on-Haruka week?

>Michiru walked into the room no longer in her pajamas,

Kero: Michiru! Put some clothes on!

Sakura: Kero…

>Haruka stood next to her also fully dressed, "I'm going this time! We

>have five hours so when we get to London, I want to see Diagon Alley!!" Haruka said sternly folding her arms across her

>chest.

Tomoyo:<Haruka> Try and ditch me again, you slobs, and I’ll have to get medieval on your asses.

>"Where will we put my stuff?" Hotaru asked with a sweatdrop.

>"Sub-space pocket. Now, let's get going!" Haruka grinned and Michiru sighed. Setsuna sat there with a sleepy look on her face

>as she climbed out of bed.

Sakura: Meanwhile, in Nerima, Akane reaches into malletspace to grab a weapon to clobber Ranma and ends up with a handful of Horatu’s underwear.

Syaoran:<Ranma> Who’s a hentai now?

>~*One Hour Later*~

>"WOW! Look! Look!! A GOLD cauldron!! Can I have it? Please? Please? Please?" Haruka said chibi-sized as she ran around the

>shop excitedly receiving many stares from other customers.

Sakura:<Haruka> Mommy, can I have a pony? Huh? Can I? Can I? Can I?

Kero: When did Haruka get so uppity?

Syaoran: I think Michiru’s been slipping happy pills into her tea.

>Michiru sweatdropped, "Haruka...you don't go to Hogwarts...you don't need one..."

>"I might someday!" Haruka replied her eyes going big and shiny.

Sakura:<Haruka> Wai! I wanna be a magician when I grow up!

>"Haruka...you're 19....you won't be able to go to Hogwarts...maybe as a teacher...but I doubt that'd happen either..."

Syaoran: Boy, Michiru’s a real downer, huh?

Kero: I dunno. She might be asked to take up the Defense Against The Dark Arts post.

Sakura: Lord knows no one else will.

>"Aww....you're mean Michi..." She sighed and kicked at a small invisible pebble, "But can I have the cauldron?"

>"No."

>"Can I get a wand then?"

>"Haruka...I said no"

Tomoyo:<Haruka> Aww…Pretty please with sugar on top? I’ll be your friend.

Kero: Doesn’t Haruka have any money of her own?

>"...Fine....Fine. Hey...where're Setsuna and Hotaru?"

>"Probably left because they didn't want it to look like they knew you..."

Syaoran: Ouch!

Kero: Gee, Michiru, who put the bitch sauce in your coffee?

Sakura: Kero…

>"...Fine, we'll look for them"

>Michiru turned and left the store, she looked back to make sure Haruka was following her, which she was so she shrugged and

>went to look in the other stores.

Tomoyo: Michiru sure knows how to kill a shopping trip.

>They entered a bookstore and Haruka turned chibi once more and ran around, "Oooooooh! Look look!" She pointed to a book,

>which was titled, 'Five thousand ways to get revenge'

All:<sniggers>

Kero:<Haruka>PAYBACK TIME!!

>Michiru read the title out loud then sweatdropped, "Great...Great. You're definetly not buying that"

Sakura:<Michiru> Setsuna and I are too young to die.

Syaoran: Maybe they should buy the author a magic dictionary to tell her how to spell “definitely”.

Kero: They could call it “spell check”.

Tomoyo: Zing!

>"...Aww...fine. Oh look! There's Setsuna and Hotaru!" She pointed across the road to an ice cream store where they were

>seated at a table Hotaru was eating a chocolate and vanilla swirl and Setsuna was eating rocky-road. "They got ice cream!? No

>fair!" Haruka cried and ran out of the store and across the street to Hotaru and Setsuna.

Kero: Wha--? Has Haruka been getting Usagi pills or something?

Syaoran: If she starts tripping over her own feet, I’m leaving.

>Michiru sweatdropped and ran after her.

Tomoyo:<Michiru> When I said I wanted to experience raising children, I didn’t mean you, Haruka.

>~* 10:45 a.m. King's Cross*~

>Hotaru got her things out of the sub-space pocket, "Platform nine and three-quarters?" She looked up, there was a Platform

>9...then a Platform 10. There was no platform nine and three-quarters.

Syaoran: Oh, we’re going to re-hash THIS bit again.

>Setsuna smiled, "Follow me. Change into your robe in the bus, alright?"

Kero: The hell…?

Syaoran: Hotaru, flashing the commuters is usually a bad thing.

Sakura: Bus? What bus? I’m lost.

>"Alright..."

>Michiru and Haruka had to wait outside, mainly because Haruka would create a scene.

Tomoyo:<Michiru> Never should have let her take those improv classes.

>Setsuna looked around her to make sure no one was watching then walked in between the two platforms and vanished, Hotaru

>watched her mouth hanging open.

Sakura:<Hotaru> GACK! I just swallowed a fly!

>She shrugged and looked around then ran for it with her bags and Pluto of course, she closed

>her eyes bracing herself for the crash. Amazingly she ran through she opened her eyes and looked around. There was a scarlet

>steam engine; it was waiting next to a platform jam-packed with people. A sign overhead said Hogwarts Express, 11:00. Behind

>Hotaru there was a wrought-iron archway where the barrier had been, it now read Platform Nine and Three-quarters.

Syaoran: Been there. Done that.

Kero: They couldn’t have told her about this in advance?

>Setsuna helped her find an empty seat at the last compartment.

>"Remember you have your communicator," Setsuna said before she left Hotaru there alone.

Kero: That’s it? No “Good bye”?

Tomoyo:<Setsuna> Now get out of my sight!

>Hotaru put her things in her sub-space pocket, she had already changed into her black robe. She sighed and looked out the

>window and watched others say good-bye to their families. Suddenly the door opened and a woman with a cart came in,

Sakura: I wonder if she’ll bother to teach that sub-space pocket thing to anyone else?

Tomoyo: I think that’s Plot Devices 101.

>"Anything off the cart dear?" The woman asked smiling.

Syaoran: Ah, she’s off her trolley.

Syaroan: Well, I thought it was funny.

>Hotaru smiled and nodded, might as well see what they have. Her eyes widened as she saw all the strange things, candies

>galore! Strange candies, but candies nonetheless.

Kero: They had razorblades in them, but they were still candy!

Syaoran: Uh… author, there’s no need to rehash every single event from Harry Potter again.

>She grabbed two of everything and paid the woman. Setsuna had given her a

>lot of money, probably if it was in yen, instead of Galleons, Sickles, and Knuts, she could probably buy the world!

Kero:<Hotaru a la Dr. Evil> I have ONE HUNDRED BILLION DOLLARS

>She emptied it out onto the empty seat next to her and pulled out a package of Chocolate Frogs, there was a card below it, it

>read 'Agrippa' then 'Dumbledore'. She stared at them. They moved!!

Syaoran: I’m more amazed that there were two cards in that frog’s package.

>After getting over the shock of it she reached into the pile and pulled out a quill pen. The feather was red, orange, and looked as if it also had some blue hues in it. >She opened her sub-space pocket and dumped all the other candy inside for later. She kept the pen out and dug into the sub-space pocket

Sakura: I just can’t get used to this whole “sub-space pocket” thing.

Tomoyo:<author> Laws of physics… Pffft!

>for something else, her notebook. She opened it to a blank page and wrote:

Kero:<Hotaru a la Crow T. Robot> Dear Kitty, You won’t believe what happened today…

>September 1st

>I'm on the train to Hogwarts...I'm the only one in this cart all the other seats were taken.

Sakura: Hotaru’s in the snack cart?

Tomoyo:<Trolley witch> Listen, dear, you’re slowing me down.

>But don't worry about me! I'll be fine, I'm used to being alone.

Syaoran: What about the other Outer Senshi?

Kero:<Hotaru>But at least when I was possessed I had the voices in my head to keep me company.

>The scenery is gorgeous if you can see it the train is going so fast...well, ja ne.

>Someone's coming.

>Tomoe Hotaru.

Sakura: Kinomoto Sakura.

Tomoyo: Daidouji Tomoyo.

Syaoran: Li Syaoran.

Kero: Kero… Well, just Kero.

>She looked at the writing once more it wrote in the same color as the feather, she closed the notebook and threw the pen and

>notebook into her sub-space pocket just as the door opened.

Kero:<person at door> Okay, who’s violating the laws of physics in here?

>The door opened and a boy about the same age as her or a few months older walked in. The boy had a pale, pointed face and

>silverish-blonde hair. Two enormous boys followed him.

Syaoran: Enter the rat-boy.

>"I expected to see Potter back here. Where is he?" He asked looking at Hotaru; his voice was bored as if nothing could

>interest him.

Kero:<Malfoy> Yawn… Answers… I want answers… I want the truth… Blah, blah, blah…

>"Potter? Who's that? And who are you?" Hotaru asked with a hint of annoyance in her voice.

Sakura:<Hotaru> *I* want ANSWERS! Where were you on the night on the twenty-sixth?!

>The boy raised an eyebrow, how could anyone not know the name of Harry Potter?

Syaoran:<Malfoy> Potter’s publicity agent must be falling behind.

>"Your first year at Hogwarts? My name is Draco Malfoy, This is Crabbe, and Goyle. It is amazing that you do not know the name of 'Harry Potter', you're a >muggle aren't you? I hate your kind...they shouldn't allow you into Hogwarts"

Syaoran: Subtle.

Sakura:<Hotaru> That’s nice. Why don’t you find someone who cares? I’m busy now, ferret face.

Tomoyo:<Hotaru> I’m Hotaru Tomoe and this is my staff. <THWACK!> That bleeding should stop in a minute.

>She stared at him her violet eyes fixed on him with a glare, she didn't know what a muggle was but she didn't like the way he

>said it, "A muggle?"

Kero:<Hotaru> Urge to kill… rising…

>He almost choked on his laughter, "Dear me, you know nothing do you? A muggle is a non-magic user...someone who lives in the

>muggle-world and didn't even know Hogwarts existed until they received the letter...That's what you are I bet"

Sakura:<Hotaru> Actually, I’m a sailor senshi. I shall now demonstrate my “Death Reborn” attack on your miserable carcass.

>Hotaru glared, everything was true that he said and apparently it was an insult, everything was true except the non-magic

>user part, "I use and know magic. I was raised in the muggle world though, but I did know Hogwarts existed before I got the

>letter" she lied through clenched teeth.

Syaoran:<singing> Every little thing she does is magic!

Kero:<singing> Even though our lives before were tragic!

>He raised an eyebrow, "Then how is it you don't know about Harry Potter?"

Tomoyo:<Hotaru> You Brits… Always thinking the world revolves around you, huh?

>Hotaru growled and had the urge to transform and beat him into a bloody pulp, but for some reason it didn't seem wise on an

>account that she was outnumbered three to one,

Syaoran: YES! Do it, Hotaru-chan! You can take ‘em!!

Kero: Faster, senshi-cat! Kill! Kill!

>and three other people just walked in. She turned to look at them, one boy had red hair and tons of freckles he was tall, the other boy

>had dark hair that covered his forehead but she could make out there was some sort of scar there, he had green eyes and wore glasses.

>The girl next to them had bushy brown hair... that's all that was really noticeable about her.

Kero: Now that she’s had those teeth fixed.

Syaoran: Just wait ‘til she opens her mouth.

>"Ah. Potter, we were just talking about you..." Draco said with a smirk

>"Oh hello Malfoy, we were just talk about you too. What a coincidence..." Harry said rolling his eyes.

Kero:<Harry> We talk about you. Use bad grammar.

Syaoran:<Harry> Don’t be surprised if you wake up one morning with a hippogriff’s head in your bed.

>Hermione bit her lower lip then sat net to Hotaru, "What's your name?"

>"...Tomoe Hotaru..." Hotaru responded looking at the girl strangely.

Sakura:<Hotaru> Why is she sitting on that net?

>"Your name's Tomoe?" Ron said as he sat across from her, Harry followed suit and sat next to Ron.

>"No" She smiled a bit, "My name's Hotaru"

Tomoyo: Hotaru speaks perfect English except for a few minor quirks.

>Draco who wasn't used to being ignored said, "Well, Hotaru, you don't want to go making friends with the wrong sort. I--"

Syaoran:<Malfoy>--still hate your guts, but I thought I should say that anyway.

>Harry cut him off, "Still using the same line Malfoy?"

Kero:<Malfoy> D’oh! I’ve got the wrong script. Umm… little help?

>Draco glared and motioned for Crabbe and Goyle to leave, though it wouldn't be the last time they'd see them.

Sakura: The story, after all, isn’t nearly over.

>Hermione sighed, "That's Draco Malfoy...you best not mess with him, or get to know him. He's the most backstabbing person in

>all of Hogwarts he's so mean...well never mind that. What house are you in?"

Syaoran:<Harry>So he’s a murderous psycho. How about this weather?

>Hotaru stared at her, "House?"

>"You don't have a house yet? How odd...And you'll be starting your 4th year like us right?"

Kero: Forth year? I thought it was fifth.

Syaoran: So we’re reliving the Goblet of Fire plot?

>Hotaru only nodded that's what Setsuna had told her anyways.

Sakura:<Hotaru> Smile and nod. Just smile and nod.

Syaoran: That advice has helped us out a lot too.

>"Well you should be in Gryffindor, it's the best! All of us are in it, Oh...by the way my name's Hermione Granger."

Tomoyo:<Hermione> Now, here’s how you pronounce it…

>"Ron Weasley" said Ron.

>The other boy with the scar followed suit and said,

Syaroan:<Harry> I bet three spades.

>"Harry Potter..."

Sakura: …and the Philosopher’s Stone.

Syaoran: …and the Chamber of Secrets.

Tomoyo: …and the Prisoner of Azkaban.

Kero: …and the Goblet of Fire.

>"Hajimemashite," Hotaru said with a slight bow.

>The others stared at her, "Hajime-what?"

>"That means nice to meet you in Japanese, I come from Japan..." Hotaru said with a sweatdrop.

Sakura:<Hotaru> Forgot my universal translator. Sorry.

Syaoran: Well, since we’re exchanging greetings in various lauguages… Nihao to you all!

>"Ohh," They said nodding.

Kero:<Harry> It’s a different language! I get it!

>"So, what house do you think you're gonna be in?" Ron asked.

>"..What houses are there?" Hotaru said feeling stupid.

Kero:<Ron> Well, there’s the House of Pancakes and…

Syaoran: Figures you’d say that.

>"There're four houses" Hermione explained, "Gryffindor, which is what we're in. Gryffindors are brave, and daring. Ravenclaw

>are the wise ones, Hufflepuff are just and loyal. So what do you think you'll be in?"

Sakura:<Hotaru> Is there one for possession victims?

Syaoran:<Harry> Yep. LindaBlair house.

>"Wait. What's the fourth one? You only named three..." Hotaru said scratching the back of her head.

>"Oh. The fourth...is Slytherin, that's THE worst. They do ANYTHING to achieve what they want. They're horrible people. Malfoy

>is one of them. You won't be I promise, because you're nice, so what do you think you'll be in?"

Tomoyo: Slytherin House! Better living, the Machiavellian way!

Sakura:<Hermione> Of course, Harry kind of has the blood of Cedric Diggory on his hands, but we’ll just skip that.

>Before Hotaru could respond the train came to a stop, they were at Hogwarts! Hotaru could barely contain her excitement as

>she, Harry, Ron, and Hermione made their way out.

Syaoran: Wow! Short trip.

Kero: They must have traded in the Hogwarts Express for a Bullet Train.

>_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_To be continued_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

>Vale: r&r!!!

Sakura: Too late, Vale. We already had the train scene.

>Vince: ...review please

>Thor: ...hurry and get to the good parts!

Syaoran:<Thor> Screw the set-up!

>Tomoe: shut up Thor! It is good... don't forget to review!

>Fantasy Girl: *coughs* oh, um review I guess!

Tomoyo: Okay. We get it!

>Vale: ...should it be Draco/Hotaru...or Harry/Hotaru. I think there're TOO many Hotaru/Harry ones...I think. So I think I'll

>do Draco/Hotaru...Ja ne!

Sakura: <heavy sarcasm>Yeah. There are a whole BUNCH of Hotaru/Harry stories.

Syaoran: The only thing I want to see involving Hotaru and Draco is her beating him senseless.

Kero: Come on. Let’s take a break before the next chapter.

“So what do you think of the story so far, guys?” Sakura asked as the group wandered back onto the bridge.

“Well, the Haruka abuse and all the obvious points aside, it’s actually not too bad,” said Syaoran.

“Yeah,” Tomoyo replied. “But after ‘Megamon X’ and ‘The Ranma ½ Cast Does CCS’, almost anything would look good.”

“Yeah. But on the other hand, why do we keep having to re-hash all those scenes from ‘Harry Potter And The Philospher’ Stone’ anyway?” said Kero. “All that’s missing so far is the part where Michiru shows which brick to tap to open the portal to Diagon Alley.” He tapped one of the metal walls of the satellite for emphasis.

Suddenly, the whole satellite began to rock violently.

“Wha… What’s going on?!” Tomoyo screamed.

Syaoran was about to say something when Sakura grabbed hold of him and hung on for dear life. The metal panel melted away revealing a pathway into Diagon Alley.

“What the…” Tomoyo began. The group slowly approached the opening, glancing around carefully.

“Well, what do you know?” said Kero. “All this tie there was a portal into Diagon Alley on the satellite and we never knew.”

“Sounds like a serious case of dues ex machina to me,” Tomoyo replied.

Sakura caught Syaoran glancing at a notice posted on one of the walls. “What’s that?” she asked.

“Wanted,” Syaoran read. “For the murder of several key magical figures: Tira Misu, Chocolate Misu, Carrot Glace, Marron Glace…” The others sweatdropped as Syaoran continued to read. “If found tell them to please stop hunting us, or at least off some Death Eaters and Dementors for a change.”

Just then, a familiar looking get with short black hair came up to them with a book list. “Excuse me…” she began.

“Hey! It’s Hotaru Tomoe from this week’s experiment!” called Kero.

Hotaru blinked. “You know who I am?”

“Sure,” said Sakura. “You’re our author’s favorite senshi!”

“Oh!” Hotaru seemed both flattered and confused.

“Can I just ask one question?” said Syaoran.

“Shoot,” Hotaru replied.

“Why, oh why haven’t you killed Chibi-Usa yet?” said Syaoran. “I was so hopeful when you swallowed her soul that we’d never hear from her again.”

Hotaru giggled. “Actually, she’s really not as obnoxious as annoying as she seems to be sometimes.”

“Really?” said Kero incredulously.

Hotaru smiled. “I’d like to stay and chat but I have books to buy. See ya!” As she ran off the sounds of Haruka pleading with Michiru for a wizard’s chess set could be heard in the distance.

“We’d better get back,” said Tomoyo as they wandered back through the passageway.

“Hang on,” said Kero. “This could be our escape route.”

“I know,” said Sakura. “But let’s wait until Dr. H gets back. If we escape now, Nakuru and Spinel will take the fall.”

“Since when do you care about them,” Kero muttered as the panel re-formed behind them.

“Besides, we couldn’t leave Meiling or Yue stranded here,” said Sakura. “Not to mention all our things.”

Just then, Tomoyo noticed a familiar bushy-haired figure in black robes wandering around the bridge. “Guys,” she said. “We have company.”

They all looked at the bushy haired girl who turned to face them. “What’s going on here?” she asked. “Where am I?”

“This is the Satellite Of Love,” Sakura explained. “I’m Sakura Kinomoto. This is my boyfriend, Syaoran Li; my best friend, Tomoyo Daidouji and the little yellow thing is Kero-Chan.”

“Oh,” the girl said. “Well, my name’s Hermione Granger.”

“Hermione Grangee?” said Syaoran.

“This could be trouble,” Kero began.

Suddenly, alarms and sirens rang out.

“OHHHH, WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN!!!” Sakura cried out.

(Door 6: It shatters like glass.)

(Door 5: It’s made of ofudas. Syaoran recites an incantation and they burn away.)

(Door 4: It’s made of bars. They rise into the ceiling.)

(Door 3: It’s made of sleeping plushies. They suddenly wake up and scamper away.)

(Door 2: It’s a set of elevator doors. They open with a ‘ping’ sound.)

(Door 1: It’s a trap door. You fall through it.)

(Door .7: The camera pans downward where a giant vault door starts to open. A sudden rush of air sucks you through.)

Sakura, Syaoran, Tomoyo and Kero-Chan fall through the vault door and land in their seats while Kero-Chan floats overhead. Hermione falls through the vault and lands ungracefully on her butt.

Hermione: OW!

Kero: You okay?

Hermione: I think so.

Sakura: Why did you follow us?

Hermione: You mean I wasn’t supposed to?

Syaoran: Never mind. The fic is starting.

>Disclaimer: No, I do no own Harry Potter J.K. Rowling does. And no, I do not own Sailor Moon Naoko Takeuchi does. All set? I own Yume (Dream) >Anderson though! AHAHAHA! -_-;

Tomoyo: Another proud student of the Jinnai School of Maniacal laughter.

Hermione: Eh?

Kero: Just follow our lead, kid.

>Thor: Is this fic gonna get better?

Syaoran: Probably not.

Sakura: Come on, Syaoran-kun. It’s not that bad.

>Vince: ...I hope
>Vale: WHAT!? You evil people! It is good... *cry*

Tomoyo:<Vale> I’m packing up my toys and going home.

>Tomoe: ... ...*sweatdrop* Vale-chan...they were joking

Kero:<Vince> No, we weren’t.

>Fantasy Girl: ...*eats ice cream bar* uh huh...

Hermione:<singing> That’s the way. Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Syaoran: Hey! You catch on fast!

Hermione:<blushes> Well, thank you.

>Vale: .... *sniffle* ok
>Fantasy Girl: AGH!!!!!!!!! BRAIN FREEZE!
>Vale: ...O.o; again?
>Fantasy Girl: *runs in circles* R&R!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kero: Just another weird day in the author’s head, folks.

>HOTARU GOES TO HOGWARTS
>CHAPTER THREE

Kero: Next up: Divination!

Sakura:<Prof. Trelawney> So, tell me what you see.

Hermione:<Hotaru> I see several more long winded seasons of fighting youmas.

>BY:
>Vale (Saturn Angels)

Syaoran: MST: CardCaptor Schlueter (aka Syaoran-kun)

>Hotaru exited the train with Hermione, Ron, and Harry and made it to the Great Hall, looking all the while at what was around her. It was so exciting, wonderful, >and big! It was full of magic, it was in the very air they breathed.

Syaoran: She needs to cut down on her sugar intake.

Tomoyo: If she turns chibi on us too, I’m leaving.

>She could hardly contain her excitment, she just felt like jumping up and shouting 'I'm here! I'm here! This is real!!' but of course she stayed silent,

Hermione: …knowing that shouting out loud would make her look like a dork.

Kero: You should talk.

Hermione: HEY!

>and waited through the names of first years, with that strange hat exclaiming "Slytherin! HufflePuff! Gryffindor! Ravenclaw!!"

Kero: The hat had traded in its usual song for rap.

Sakura: Poor hat finally had a mental breakdown,

>Finally the person making the speech smiled and looked over to Hotaru, "And this year witches and wizards, we have something different. A late witch who's just >come to Hogwarts, she's a transfer student from Japan, and she will be starting her fifth year here as she is fifteen years of age. So, Tomoe Hotaru please be >seated, and put on the Sorting Hat," all of the grown-ups smiled kindly at her as they had done to all the other kids.

Hermione: They were humoring her and hoping she wouldn’t bring the Silence down on them.

Sakura: Now it’s fifth year again! What’s going on here?!

>Hotaru nodded and smiled nervously as she made her way to the chair in the center of the room, and sat down placing the Sorting Hat on top of her head. She >jumped the slightest bit when a voice entered her head,

Tomoyo:<Hotaru> Oh no! Not again!

>'Well, you're certainly a strange one...I've never seen someone who fit all four houses so well...

Sakura: Uhh… We have.

Syaoran: Hat must be getting senile in its old age.

>you are very loyal to your friends...hardly ever lie, you would be good in HufflePuff...though the best of your abilities would be brought out in Slytherin.

Hermione:<Sorting Hat> Go figure!

Syaoran:<Sorting Hat> You clearly need a refresher course in pure evil.

Sakura:<Hotaru> You’re going to teach me karaoke?!

>You are very brave...though I think some Gryffindors would believe you were the essence of evil itself with such a dark past...'

Kero: Assuming they find out.

Tomoyo: She’s not Mistress 9 anymore, Hat. The whole possession thing is over.

>'I don't think I would do very good in HufflePuff actually...with a dark past such as mine...' Hotaru thought, communicating with the hat.
>
>'Ah...then it's actually between Gryffindor and Slytherin. They may both be equal in wisdom...'

Hermione: What about Ravenclaw?

Syaoran: Hotaru just isn’t the brainy type, I guess.

>'...I don't know which to choose...I actually think I would do better in Slytherin, you know? Help their reputation maybe? And if in Gryffindor what good could I >do?'

Hermione: Help their reputation?! Pffft… Good luck.

>'...Then it is decided' "Slytherin!!" The Hat cried, there was applause, but nearly everyone sat stunned wondering how this 'sweet' girl made it into Slytherin.

Tomoyo: She wasn’t actually sweet but she could play it on TV,

>Hermione, Ron, and Harry sat at Gryffindor's table their mouths haning open, they looked at eachother questioningly, each thinking the same thing, "How'd that >happen?"

Kero: I was wondering that myself. Since when does the hat let someone choose?

Syaoran: Well, on the plus side, this is the first Harry Potter fic I’ve seen where a new character wasn’t automatically shoveled into Gryffindor.

>Hotaru got up from the seat and made her way to the Slytherin table sitting next to some other Slytherins (duh).

Tomoyo:<Madison Taylor> Like, guy! That was SO obvious.

>A girl walked up to her, she had blue tinted hair and hazel eyes, "Konnichiwa, ..Watashi wa... Yume Anderson,"

Tomoyo:<Yume>…desu.

Hermione: Eh?

Tomoyo: Just finishing the sentence.

>Hotaru smiled as the girl stumbled over the Japanese pronunciations, "Do you understand English?" Yume asked helplessly.

Sakura:<Hotaru> No.

>Hotaru smiled, "Yes, I do"
>
>"Good, then let me start over, my name's Yume Anderson, my mom was a Japanese witch and my dad was an English wizard which is why I have a Japanese first >name and an English last name, you can call me Dream though, k?"

Hermione: Someone in this fic doesn’t like to live in reality.

>"Alright, Dream. My name's Tomoe Hotaru, pleasure to meet you"

Tomoyo:<Hotaru> Although I’d rather call you “Nightmare”.

Kero: Zing!

>Dream nodded and smiled, "Ditto. Anway, how did you get in Slytherin? I mean you're much nicer then the others," she added waving her hand to the other >Slytherins.

Hermione:<Hotaru> I wanted to freak out Haruka and Michiru into thinking I’m possessed again.

>Hotaru laughed a bit, "I'd like to ask you the same thing"

Sakura:<Dream> Ahhh, I’m just an ACC. I just go where the author tells me to.

>"Ah, well there's always someone who really doesn't fit in a group," Dream shrugged, "Ah well, least I'm not the only one who's nice around here"

Tomoyo:<Dream> I was getting tired of being surrounded by pure evil.

Sakura: Well, on the plus side, Hotaru should do well in Potions class.

>"What house do you think you should have been in?"
>
>"Gryffindor, how about you?"
>
>"I'm not sure...Ravenclaw maybe? But I really think Slytherin's need someone to boost their reputation a couple notches, don't you think?"

Syaoran: Hotaru Tomoe: PR Rep.

>Dream nodded.

Hermione:<Dream> Yeah. It would be nice if everyone didn’t hate our guts.

>"And why do you think you'd do well, or better in Gryffindor?"
>
>"My mom was in Gryffindor, my dad was in Gryffindor, my grandparents were in Gryffindor, my great-grandparents were in Gryffindor, and my great great >grandpa was in Gryffindor his wife was a muggle"

Sakura:<Dream> Now they’re all ashamed of me and lock me up in the cupboard under the stairs.

Syaoran: Sounds familiar.

>Hotaru sweatdropped, "I'm not sure who went where, or if they even came to this school in my family"

Kero:<Hotaru> My dad was kind of a psycho scientist who plotted to end all life on Earth.

>Dream shrugged, "Doesn't really matter, every family has there startin' point"
>
>Hotaru sighed as she and Dream continued eating and talking.

Kero: Meanwhile, everyone else was still wondering about how Hotaru could be pure evil.

Syaoran: One student is the center of attention and it’s not Harry. Go figure.

>"One person to avoid, is Draco Malfoy, he's probably the worst out of the whole lot of Slytherins, he and his 'posse' Crabbe and Goyle," Dream pointed them out, >and Hotaru immediately reconginzed whom she was speaking of.

Hermione: Shouldn’t that be “recognized”?

Sakura: Probably.

Syaoran: “Posse”? Malfoy’s a rapper now?

Kero:<Malfoy> Yo. Don’t go messin’ with the homes here or I’ll have to pop a cap in yo’…

Tomoyo: Okay! That’s enough of that.

>"I've met him before...he seems popular though?" Hotaru said in a questioning voice.
>
>"Ohh, sure he's popular with the Slytherins that is. Everyone else hates him, and so do the Slytherins...or some of them anyways. They just try and be nice to him >since they're a respectable sort of wizarding family...or ...most others are afraid of them, y'know his dad was in You-Know-Who's little clan thing"

Syaoran: Clan? The Death Eaters are a clan now?

Kero: Yeah. Yeah. All the Malfoys have “666” tattooed on their heads. Can we move on?

>"Who's You-Know-Who?"
>
>Dream stared at Hotaru, "...Ohh...that's right you were raised in a muggle world, didn't you read any of the books you got on the way over here?"
>
>"...No, not really"

Tomoyo:<Hotaru> I was too busy sucking souls out of the other students. Old habit, I’m afraid.

>"Well, You-Know-Who is"

Kero: Yes?

>"Why don't you say his name?"

Hermione:<singing> Say the name, say the name.

>"...Well....his name is..." She looked around then leaned over and whispered in Hotaru's ear, "Voldemort" Then she shuddered and sat back quickly.

Hermione: Slytherins are afraid of Voldemort too. How about that?

>Hotaru raised an eyebrow, what was so bad about saying a name? "Alright, so this Voldemort is evil?"

Syaoran:<rolls his eyes> No. He’s actually cute and fluffy.

>Dream's eyes widenedat two things:

Sakura: Her eyes did what?

Tomoyo: Is that a word?

Hermione: Actually, it’s two words minus a space.

>one she knew nothing, and two she said His name without fear, "Man you really know nothing. Yes, he was evil! The purest form of evil ever put on the face of >this planet! He killed innocent people for the hell of it!"

Sakura:<Dream> EEEEEEEVIIIILLLLL!!!!

Tomoyo:<Dream> And then he had them for dinner!

Kero:<Voldemort> With fava beans and a nice Chianti.<slurp!>

>"Is he dead?"
>
>"We're not sure anymore...he keeps coming back...after the same target..."

Syaoran: Voldemort is basically the J.K. Rowling equivalent of Jason Voorhees,

Kero: With more characterization.

Sakura: Kero… Cardboard has more characterization than Jason.

>"Who? or What?"

Hermione:<Hotaru>…or When? or Why? or Where?

>"Harry Potter"
>
>"Why?"

Tomoyo:<Dream>Kicks, I guess.

>"He was the only one who wasn't killed, you see You-Know-Who tried to kill him, but he couldn't...so now he has a lightning bolt scar on his forehead, the mark >that a strong magic was used against you, and You-Know-Who keeps coming back to try and kill him..."

Kero: He is the Laurie Strode to Voldemort’s Michael Myers.

Hermione:<hums the “Halloween” theme>

>Hotaru nodded but before she could ask another question, like why Harry wasn't killed, the feast was suddenly over and they headed back to the Slytherin >Common Room, once they reached a large portrait a thin woman with long black hair and green eyes,

Syaoran: Hold it! The entrance to the Slytherin Common Room is hidden in a plain stone wall.

Sakura: Syaoran-kun…

Syaoran: Hmm?

Sakura: You need to get out more, dear.

>the prefect that led them around said the password which was, 'Dragonfire' and the portrait swung back and there was a hole where everyone crept into. The >prefect led the girls to the left door and the boys to the opposite door.

Hermione: Also known as the “right door”.

Kero: Although some boys “accidentally” went through the wrong door.

Sakura: Kero!

>Hotaru stared around here as everyone else had fallen asleep, she smiled briefly wondering what Haruka was doing...not knowing that Haruka was doing >something very peculiar, to Michiru's great annoyment.

Hermione: “Annoyment” isn’t a word, you know. The correct word would be “annoyance”.

Kero: Thank you, Miss Bookworm. Can we move on?

>-Outer's Manison-

Syaoran:<dramatic> Stately Tenou Manor…

>Haruka sat hunched over a few pieces of paper on her desk, Michiru standing behind her massaging her shoulders, and Setsuna rolling her eyes and helping her >with what she was doing. "Name...Tenou Haruka..." "Why I would be qualify for this job...Setsuna?? This question's hard! Help..."

Tomoyo:<Michiru> Have you been slipping her Usagi pills again? It isn’t funny anymore, Sets-chan.

>Setsuna once again rolled her eyes with a little laugh and helped Haruka finish her resume, Michiru and Setsuna had already finished theirs a long time ago so they >helped Haruka.

Sakura: This sentence brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department which brought you this.

Kero: If that doesn’t work, ask Yumi-chan from “Chobits”.

>Her job application for a teacher at Hogwarts.

Hermione: Position: Defense against the Dark Arts.

Syaoran: Only spot that’s ever available.

>"You just had to find a way that you might possibly get a wand and a gold cualdron didn't you?" Michiru said smiling a bit.

Hermione:<Haruka> Actually, I wanted a gold “cauldron”.

Tomoyo: You know, considering that gold has a low melting point, wouldn’t it be a bad material for cauldrons? Come to think of it, so does pewter.

Kero: Don’t you start too.

>"Yes...that and," Haruka stressed the and, "I wanted to get that book"
>
>"What book?"

Hermione:<Haruka> “Magical Me” By Gilderoy Lockhart.

>"5000 ways to get revenge"

Sakura:<Haruka> Heh heh heh… ha ha mwa Ha Ha… BWA HA HA HA HA HA!!

Tomoyo:<Haruka> Ohhohohohohohohohohohohohohoho!

Hermione: What the…?

Syaoran: Don’t worry. She always laughs like that.

>Michiru sweatdropped, "I'm not gonna help you with the resume for the rest of this night"
>
>"Why?"

Tomoyo:<Michiru> I still value my life. Thanks.

>"I'm...er...tired"
>
>"Oh, ok. G'night love"

Kero:<Haruka, quietly> Bitch…

Sakura: KERO!

>"Good night Ruka"
>_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_To be continued_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

All:<imitate dramatic cliffhanger music>

>Vale: r&r!!!
>Vince: ...review please

Sakura:<Vale> PLEASE!! I’m DESPERATE!!

Tomoyo:<sweatdrops> She’s not THAT bad.

>Thor: ...
>Tomoe: ... don't forget to review!
>Fantasy Girl: *coughs* oh, um review I guess!

Hermione: Okay! We get it already.

Syaoran: Vale uses the sledgehammer form of subtlety.

>Vale: ...should it be Draco/Hotaru...or Harry/Hotaru. And what I meant by TOO many Hotaru/Harry ones is that all the Harry Potter/Sailor Moon crossovers >with Hotaru in them have them as a couple. So I think I'll do Draco/Hotaru...Bai bai! BUT VOTE ANYWAYS!!!!!!!!!

Hermione: Or at least until she finds the issues of “Playboy” he hides in his text books.

Tomoyo: Really?

Hermione: Yep. One fell out of his Transfiguration text in the corridor. He thought no one saw it.

Sakura: Reminds me of someone. <glowers at Kero>

Kero: I wonder if he could lend me his copy of the December 1998 issue…

>Vince: ...and I promise our third

Syaoran: Uh… Third what?

>Disclaimer: No, I do no own Harry Potter J.K. Rowling does. And no, I do not own Sailor Moon Naoko Takeuchi does. All set? I own Yume (Dream) >Anderson though! AHAHAHA! -_-; and I own Marissa Efferson

All but Hermione: ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Kero: Oh, wait… It was Marissa*Efferson*, guys.

Sakura: Whew! Close call.

Hermione: Should I ask?

Syaoran: Not if you value your health.

>Vale: Have fun reading! ^___^

Kero:<Vale> …or my giant emoticon mouth will swallow you whole.

>Vince: ...ZzzZzz
>Thor: zzZzzZz
>Tomoe: zzZzzZ

Hermione: You know it’s a bad sign when even the writers are falling asleep.

>Fantasy Girl: R/R!
>Tomoe: *wakes up* yea...

Syaoran:<Tomoe> I’m up… I hate Mondays. <yawn>

>HOTARU GOES TO HOGWARTS
>CHAPTER FOUR

Kero: Next stop: Herbology!

Tomoyo:<Prof. Sprout>What happened to this tree?

Sakura:<Hotaru> It underwent an Oak Evolution.<rimshot>

>BY:
>Vale (Saturn Angels)

Hermione:<singing> Just call her angel of the morning. An-gel!

>Dream woke Hotaru up the next morning,

Kero: Whoa! Hello!

Sakura: Kero…

Hermione:<Dream> Was it good for you too?

Sakura: Hermione?!

Hermione:<shrugs> Someone had to say it.

Tomoyo:<sniggers> Yume is a *dream* come true,

>"Come on hurry and get up. Time for breakfast, and then we have our classes: First it's we have Potions class with Gryffindor, then tomorrow Divination with >Ravenclaw, day after tomorrow is Defense Against the Dark Arts with Hufflepuff,

Syaoran: Wow! One class per day. These saps have it easy.

Hermione: Well, that wouldn’t be any fun.

>and we have a new subject this year news of it just came in late last night. It's art and music, in one class that's on … well after DADA, and we have another new >DADA teacher, fifth time in a row, no one knows who it is this time"

Sakura:<Hotaru> DADA?<looks around> My father’s here?

Tomoyo: Probably recruiting replacements for the Witches 5.

>Hotaru nodded lazily only listening to half of what Dream was saying, "Well I'm hungry let's go and eat already"

Hermione: She is hungry. She’s eaten all of her periods and commas.

Kero: Punctuation marks: The fifth food group.

>Dream nodded and they walked to the Great Hall for breakfast. Dream grinned, "See! I'm gettin' used to this place!"
>
>"Well you should be used to it…it's your sixth year here"

All:<imitate laugh track>

Syaoran: Dream just isn’t very bright, I’m afraid.

Sakura: Any dimmer and she’d be *asleep*!<rimshot>

>"…Good point…" she said with a pout, "And here I thought I was special,"

Kero: Oh, you’re “special”, all right, kid.

>they both laughed, got what they wanted to eat, and sat down. Hotaru, in the middle of pouring syrup onto her pancakes) was rudely interrupted by everyone's >owls coming in and dropping off letters and packages, out of surprise she fell out of her seat.

Tomoyo: THUMP!

Sakura:<Hotaru> Owie…

>Pluto dropped a letter on her lap, nibbled on Hotaru's ear, and waited on the table very expertly in-between the syrup and her plate of pancakes.

Hermione: I didn’t know owls like maple syrup.

Syaoran:<reading the syrup label> Canada No. 1 Medium… Product of Montreal…

Kero: Trying to get on the boss’s good side, kid?

>"Oh lucky you! First day and you already got a letter! Nice owl, what's its name?"

Hermione:<Hotaru> Hedwig…. No! Wait! That’s not it…

>"Pluto," she answered as she opened the letter.

Hermione: The senshi or the Roman God of death?

Tomoyo: Both, actually.

Hermione: Figures.

>"Never seen an all black owl before…violet eyes too…strange! Cool, but strange," she said grinning, "Now what's your letter say?"

Kero: New owl dye and colored contacts! Color co-ordinate you’re owl today!

>It said:

Sakura:<letter> Several months ago, I made a conscious decision not to delete what I figured was just another "junk" e-mail.

Tomoyo:<letter> Now Offering for your "Sensitive" Delight ... NEW & IMPROVED!

>Hey Hotaru!

Hermione:<singing> Leave those kids alone!

>It's just Michiru, Setsuna, and I here writing to see how you're doing, Guess what! I got an owl! I named it Shrapnel,

Kero:<Haruka> I came up with it after I set off that cluster bomb in Michi-chan’s bed!

Sakura: Naming an owl after lethal metal fragments? That’s weird, even for Haruka.

>and Michiru named hers Cracker,

Kero:<sniggers> Cracker wanna cracker?

>and of course Setsuna named hers Time…go figure. Anyway guess what! I know who all your teachers are (including the new ones)! Hehehehe, you're in for a >surprise!

Syaoran: Bets on Haruka as the new dark arts teacher?

Sakura: Who else?

>Well … write to you later! Ja ne!

Hermione:<Dream> Who’s this Jane person?

Kero: And now Hotaru will have to teach a crash course in fandom Japanese.

>-Ruka-chan-
>
>P.S. Michiru already misses you and she's whining about how you've grown up…etc.

Tomoyo:<Haruka> If she starts sounding any more like Chibi-Usa, I’ll have to shoot her.

>P.P.S. Hotaru! This is Michiru writing since Haruka writes nonsense and because Haruka is too lazy to start a new letter

Kero:<groans> Because we all know that deep down Michiru thinks Haruka is an incompetent dolt.

>I'll add this as post …postscript. How are you? Are you OK? Have you made friends? Are you sure you'll be all right?

Hermione:<Michiru> Are you brushing your teeth? Washing behind your ears? Wearing clean underwear everyday?

>We'll talk to you every now and then! Bai bai Taru! Setsuna says hello and bye too; we'll see you soon!

Kero: Okay. Now we know for sure that the Outers will be showing up as professors.

Sakura: The Hold-You-Down-And-Bludgeon-You-With-It Foreshadowing Technique, folks.

>"…Weird letter," Dream said as Hotaru read it aloud, "Though I like the sound of these people, they sound fun to be around. Well, let's continue eating, shall we?"

Syaoran: “Fun” isn’t the word I’d use.

Tomoyo: You should have seen them in their earlier days, when they skulked around like vultures, hoping to steal souls before Tomoe could.

>Hotaru nodded, tore off a piece of the paper that was left blank and wrote a reply 'Alright, I guess I'll see you guys soon then!' she tied it to Pluto's leg and Pluto >flew off to deliver the letter.

Hermione:<Pluto> Oh, sure. Don’t let me rest or anything first, you big load.

>Breakfast ended and Dream led Hotaru to Potions class, talking, "We're lucky we're in Slytherin though in this class. Professor Snape favors us, and he hates >Gryffindors especially Harry Potter and his friends," once they had made it they all were about to sit down when Snape announced that there would be a new >seating arrangement. Hotaru hoped it wasn't going to be alphabetical or else she and Dream wouldn't sit near each other.

Syaoran:<sarcastic> Yeah. And we know what a loss *that* would be.

Sakura: Hey! Her only other childhood friend was Chibi-Usa.

Syaoran: Point taken.

>He walked by each seat telling whom to sit where, "Ron Weasley and Yume Anderson; Draco Malfoy and Hotaru Tomoe; Neville Longbottom and Hermione >Granger, Harry Potter and Lavender Brown, Seamus Finnigan and Marissa Efferson"

Kero: Efferson? I barely know her son.

Hermione: Expelliarmus!

Kero: Ite…

Sakura: Thank you.

Hermione: Don’t mention it.

>the list continued on and on until finally he was finished calling everyone's name and they all sat down in their respective seats, "Your partners will be the person >sitting next to you I have arranged it boy, girl, boy, girl. Now your first assignment…"

Tomoyo:<hums the *original* Mission: Impossible theme>

Syaoran:<Snape> You’re mission, should you choose to accept it…

>After explaining exactly what they all had to do, the class got to work.

Hermione:<singing> Working nine to five…

>-Ron and Dream-

Hermione:<singing> Dream a little dream with me.

Sakura: Okay. That’s enough of that.

>"Alright…so we need …umm…what were the ingredients again Ron?" Dream asked smiling a bit nervously.

Hermione: Apparently, one comma.

Tomoyo:<Dream a la Madison Taylor> Like, some days I am just *SOOOOOO* clueless. Can you imagine?

Kero: Dream lives in a dream world.

Syaoran: So it would seem.

>Ron told her the ingredients, which he had messily written down, and she nodded. "Oh yes, call me Dream by the way"

Sakura:<Dream> On second thought, call me Ishmael.

>Ron nodded, "Alright Dream…at first I was dreading this class but you're not as mean as the other Slytherins"

Kero: Big achievement there.

Sakura: Yeah. That could just mean that instead of kicking puppies she waits until they’re fully grown dogs.

>"Stop chatting and get to work Weasley, a point from Gryffindor," Snape said as he continued walking by all the rows.
>
>"Sorry," Dream whispered as they both began working at the potion.
>
>-Draco and Hotaru-

Syaoran: As payback for the insults on the train, Hotaru had slammed her cauldron over Malfoy’s head and was now whacking it repeatedly with her staff.

Tomoyo:<Hotaru> Sorry, Draco! You’ve been GONGED!

>Draco and Hotaru for the most part worked quietly, and Hotaru's greatest irritation was that Snape kept walking by them and complimenting Draco, how perfect >he was Draco this and Draco that, she briefly wondered who he would be saying was perfect after Draco graduated.

Kero: Yeah. People hate Teacher’s pets.

Hermione: HEY!

Syaoran:<Snape> I like you, Draco. I’ll kill you last.

>"What are you doing? You added the asphodel before I added the two ounces of wolfsbane!" Draco yelled, quietly as possible.

Tomoyo: He was yelling in a very low key, laid back manner.

Syaoran:<Malfoy> I learned that from Marrissa Picard!

>Hotaru stared at her hand which was still hovering over the cauldron the contents, which were asphodel, already poured in, "…uh…oops? I-Is it that big of a deal >…I mean it looks normal enough…nothings happening to it…"

Hermione:<Hotaru> …yet.

Kero: Ah, just switch cauldrons with Crabbe or Goyle. If they blow up, who’ll notice?

>Draco watched the contents of the cauldron expecting it to blow up any second, when it didn't he shrugged and went back to making powder of wolfsbane.

Sakura: Suddenly, an evil fanged creature lunged out of the cauldron at Draco’s neck!

Tomoyo: Must be using one of Urd’s recipes.

>-Neville and Hermione-

Kero:<singing> …sittin’ in a tree.

Hermione:<aiming her wand at Kero> Not. One. More. Word.

>Not much to say here, everything was going perfectly under Hermione's instructions.

Tomoyo: And once again, a pathetic slouch is saved by leeching off the intelligence of someone else.

Hermione: Hey! Be nice!

>-Harry and Lavender-

Kero:<sniggers> She’s turning slightly purple.

>Going well besides Snape's comments, and comparison to Malfoy and Hotaru whom were working so perfectly 'well'.

Sakura: “Well” meaning that she hasn’t killed him yet.

>-Seamus and Marissa-
>
>Marissa looked at the contents of the cauldron, "Is it supposed to be green and bubbly?"

Tomoyo:<Marissa> And should it dissolve the spoon like that?

>"No…is it?" He asked worriedly as he looked up quickly from what he was doing, preparing more ingredients.
>
>"No…"

Syaoran:<Seamus> So, why did you ask?

Hermione:<Marissa>I dunno. Seemed like something to do.

>"Good," he leaned back in his seat and continued preparing ingredients.
>
>"It's actually purple, slimy, and bubbly"

Kero:<Marissa> Awww… Crap. This is Akane Tendo’s Cook Book I’ve been reading.

>"What?" he looked over the contents of the cauldron all color draining from his face, "…Uh oh…"

Syaoran:<Seamus> HIT THE DIRT!!

All: KA-BOOM!

>-Whole Class-
>
>After awhile everyone heard a popping sound, though it wasn't from Neville's cauldron (as everyone thought it was), nor was it from Seamus's and Marissa's, not >even Harry and Lavender, and it wasn't Ron and Dream either.

Tomoyo: It was Usagi’s head exploding, just like in “Calculus Carnage”.

Sakura: Uh… That wasn’t our MSTing, Tomoyo-chan.

Kero: And Usagi’s not in this scene.

Tomoyo: You guys are no fun.

>That's right, it was from Snape's favorite perfect student, Draco Malfoy himself…all right Hotaru was the one who caused it but why would I blame her?

Syaoran: After all, Hotaru is cute and likeable, while Malfoy is not.

>Everyone ran to the sides of the room expecting it to blow up, but Draco and Hotaru just sat there watching it…nothing happened for a long time it just sat there >popping like an on-going firecracker.

Hermione:<Hotaru> Pretty colors…

Kero:<Malfoy> ARGHHHHHHHHHHH!!! My face just caught on fire!!

>Snape finally walked up to them about to give Hotaru a huge speech.

Syaoran:<Snape> Four score and seven years ago…

Kero:<Snape> Friends, wizards, countrymen…

>When the cauldron stopped popping and Hotaru looked at it curiously as a puff of smoke fluttered over to Snape's face…and POP! It was like a very miniature >explosion and the only damage it did was to make Snape's face extremely black, but then again now his face matched with his hair and eyes.

All:<imitate laugh track>

Hermione: Then Snape coughed an anime style puff of smoke before falling over.

>"10 points from Gryffindor!" He yelled angrily.

Kero: Whoa! God is mad and He’s takin’ it out on Gryffindor!

>"But I'm not-"
>
>Draco covered Hotaru's mouth quickly, realizing that she was about to say 'I'm not in Gryffindor' and probably get him even angrier.

Syaoran:<Snape> Don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.

>"What was that Ms. Tomoe?" he asked angrily.

Sakura;<Hotaru> Yes! It was me, you dolt!

>She bit down on Draco's hand and continued what she was saying, "I'm not in Gryffindor I'm in Slytherin," she said glaring.
>
>"I know that"

Hermione: Uhh… Where are the periods separating those sentences?

Tomoyo: Vaporized by the blast from the potion, I guess.

>"Then why did you?"
>
>"Because of them," he jabbed his thumb towards Ron, Dream, and Harry who were laughing uncontrollably.

Kero: Hermione, of course, has no sense of humour.

Hermione: Stupefy!

Syaoran: He really needs to learn to keep his mouth shut.

>"But Dream is-"
>
>Once again Hotaru was interrupted by Draco's hand over her mouth, "It won't happen again"

Tomoyo: Speaking of people who should keep their mouths shut…

>"I'm sure it won't," he said with a not-so-angry tone of voice.
>
>He walked away, magically the room was back to how it was before, and class was over.

Hermione: That’s convenient.

>"Thanks a lot," Draco said frowning at Hotaru as he put got his stuff together.

Syaoran: Oh, come on, Draco. You can do better than that.

>"Gomen nasai, doji," Hotaru said as she too got her stuff ready.

Sakura: Hello, fandom Japanese.

>"What did you call me?" he asked glaring at her.

Tomoyo:<Hotaru> It’s best if you don’t know.

>"Nothing, you imagine things Draco-kun"

Hermione:<Hotaru> Go to bed, Draco-kun.

>They of course continued arguing all the way back to the Slytherin Common Room, Hotaru not noticing that she'd left Dream behind. She was having too much >fun.

Sakura: We all know what fun screwing with Malfoy’s head is.

Hermione: I prefer the direct approach. Just hit him.

>~*~*~*~*~*~*
>To be continued…

Syaoran: Same Hogwarts Time! Same Hogwarts Channel!

[To Be Continued in Part Two]